Ponderings of the Grandmaster and I

Some people should get a life-- Moses Tan, supreme commander of god-knows-what and who is, coincidentally, just as tall as the one in North Korea.

I strongly agree with his opinion here, so in my bid to get a life, I shall release two weeks of pent up lame humour to you lucky readers. Keep in note that all references, pointed or not, are in the name of fun so please don't come up to me and poke me with a bloody pencil.

Grandmaster: Don't forget about me...

Wei Yang: What the! Who... Who are you?

Grandmaster: I am...

Wei Yang: Not my father, that's for certain.

Grandmaster: Insolence! I am the master of chess, manga reading and everything else! In fact some call me TEH GRANDMASTER!

Wei Yang: Cool. I want tarik with less sugar, more milk and give it a good pull please.

Grandmaster: Silence you cur! Or do you want me to kick you across the ocean to the UK?

Shida: How about sending me instead? Maybe two weeks from now?

Waihan: Wei Yang, you shouldn't't keep suaning Shida. (Turns to Shida with a copy of Men's health) Nah, Shida, flip to page 17 and see the black guy there.

Shida: (Foames and collaspe)

Grandmaster: Rotten brats! (Takes up an Obama doll and points it at them)

Shida and Waihan: Ah! (They disappear)

Wei Yang: OMG! What happen?

Grandmaster: They were (pause for dramatic effect) polarised.

Wei Yang: Huh? But they were wearing white collars! Not blue!

Grandmaster: Er... (Suddenly Ada pops out, due to a miscalculation by the particle acclerator of CERN)

Ada: Cause Obama got high charge density, idiot.

Grandmaster: What she said.

Wei Yang: ... Coordinate your jokes better please.

Derek: Yah lor. Like how thiosulphate has coordinate bonds.

Wei Yang: Get away from this blog post. Can't you see the title?

Derek: Meanie. I go get my Sextuplet friends to beat you up.

Grandmaster: That's a long word. Who are your friends?

Derek: Oh. They are called Ian. Together they are called six-ian. Anyway, I am going off now. Go to have ice tea imported from England. Tata! (He exits the scne, with Ada following behind)

Wei Yang: Anyway, I was just about to talk about my school life today... (Yichen crawls into the scene)

Yichen: (Gasping) Wei yang... return me... my... balls.

Wei Yang: (Embarassed) Oops, sorry, here are your tennis balls back. (Yichen exits the scene)

Wei Yang: Alright, back to my story. I went to school today. I took a test. Finish.

Grandmaster: That's all? What a life you got.

Wei Yang: Then I decided to go to the library but it was not open, so I went to McDonalds for. breakfast. Oh, and I met Liting, Shalini, Prsicilla, and Yuny.

Grandmaster: OH, and then?

Wei Yang: I then saw Shih Ee and Shuting walking pass MD. They didn't see me. Maybe because it was how I was cunningly camouflauged into the white background, and you know, they weren't.

Grandmaster: Is that all? I was almost expecting the rest of the class to turn up suddenly and perfom a muscial involving song and dance, preferably with lots of snow. Winter is my favourite season, you know.

Wei Yang: Hmm, I prefer soy sauce and pepper.

Grandmaster: (Faints)

Part 1 ends here. Sorry if any felt gravely insulted after reading the post. I promise to bring Kellogg's next time. See you guys on tuesday! (If you want to kill me, at least let it be in risk, ok?)

P.S. Can you spot how many people from the class did I mention or suan? (Subtle references count too)