Bad jokes prior to NS

Hey guys. Guess this will be my last time posting here for a very, very , very looooooong time, as I depart across the seas to a greener land.

And since words can barely begin to express the heartfelt joy that I feel at the prospect of my new life, I thought that it would be appropriate to share the overwhelming happiness I have with the class, in the only outlet known to me:

Bad jokes.

1) Why is it that Yifei and Gerald Toh are more likely to vote for barack obama?
Ans: They are colour-blind. (No offense or slight intended)

2) Why is Shih Ee an ace marksman?
Ans: He likes shooting (No points why)

3) Can I think of a joke for Kian Wee?
Ans: I just ki-an.

4) What do you get if you cross an alien with mark?
Ans: A mark-et

5) What do you get if they send the resultant F1 offspring for adoption?
Ans: A free mark-et

6) Why is it that Andy dreads answering questions?
Ans: People keep asking: And-y, ah?

7) Why am I so lame?
Ans: I got an incredibly rare abnormal W chromosome instead of the normal X chromosome, initially

8) Who is the least important member of the class?
Ans: Marese. (Because 'shuying' 输赢并不重要）

9) Who is most likely to look the same in our reunion twenty years later?
Ans: Yichen. Because 一尘不变

10) Why will Moses make a great hairstylist?
Ans: If he can part the red sea, he can part any fringe in the world.

11) Who among us will ahve a great career as a teacher?
Ans: Liting. Liting the future ahead for students.

12) Recruits, there is a minefield ahead. I want you all to be careful. Now, Samuel Chong!
SC: Yes sir! (Runs forward and get blasted)

13) Who should never travel to Papua New Guinea?
Ans: Priscilla. Cannibals will find her too "mei wei" to resist.

14) Who should I not think of when I enter NS?
Ans: Yunyi. 想YY isn't a very good idea in bmt.

15) Whose handphone is always busy?
Ans: Waihan. Every time you call him you get the wong number.

16) Who will make an excellent interogator?
Ans: Shida. He wang/wrung the truth out of the suspect.

17) What company should Yifei and Shalini set up together?
Ans: Sha lini-men-t. Sure make money one.

As some of you are undoubtably sharpening your knifes and axes and pencils and what not to throw at me, remember! I won't be in Singapore when you see this! I will have departed to a place where the grass is greener and so are the uniforms!

Anyway, thanks to everyone for enduring my bad (and not very funny) jokes throughout the 2 years. See you on MSN on christmas! (When I finally return) By then, I am certain I will have thought of more bad jokes involving the remaining people in the class.

Till then, bye bye. Have a happy holiday!

By: Grandmaster | Wednesday, 10 December 2008 at 11:55 am | |

Post- Settlers' Outing

By: adateo | Wednesday, 24 September 2008 at 2:43 pm | |

Settler's Outing Updates

Day and Date:
Tuesday 23 September 2008

Time:
12noon if you want to have lunch
1.30pm if you don't want lunch
can join us anytime from 2-6pm though

Venue:
Central Settler's Cafe
Assemble at Clarke Quay MRT

Price:
$6+ (Student's Package from 2-6)

Live Update of Attendance

Confirm Going

1. Gerald Toh
2. Moses
3. Wei Yang
4. Ada
5. Darling (aka HP aka peipei)
   
6. Lester
7. Yi Chien
8. Yunyi
9. Liting
10. Nai Chien
11. Shuting
12. Derek
13. Victor
    

Confirm Not Going

1. Shida
2. Gerald Koh
3. Si En
4. Marese
5. Yi Fei
6. Shalini
7. Si Xian
8. Wai Han
   

Haven't Replied

1. Amelia
2. Samuel
3. Xiao Qing
4. Shih Ee
5. Mark
6. Andy
7. Priscilla
8. Kian Wee

By: Gerald | Friday, 19 September 2008 at 4:23 pm | |

Ponderings of the Grandmaster and I

Some people should get a life-- Moses Tan, supreme commander of god-knows-what and who is, coincidentally, just as tall as the one in North Korea.

I strongly agree with his opinion here, so in my bid to get a life, I shall release two weeks of pent up lame humour to you lucky readers. Keep in note that all references, pointed or not, are in the name of fun so please don't come up to me and poke me with a bloody pencil.

Grandmaster: Don't forget about me...

Wei Yang: What the! Who... Who are you?

Grandmaster: I am...

Wei Yang: Not my father, that's for certain.

Grandmaster: Insolence! I am the master of chess, manga reading and everything else! In fact some call me TEH GRANDMASTER!

Wei Yang: Cool. I want tarik with less sugar, more milk and give it a good pull please.

Grandmaster: Silence you cur! Or do you want me to kick you across the ocean to the UK?

Shida: How about sending me instead? Maybe two weeks from now?

Waihan: Wei Yang, you shouldn't't keep suaning Shida. (Turns to Shida with a copy of Men's health) Nah, Shida, flip to page 17 and see the black guy there.

Shida: (Foames and collaspe)

Grandmaster: Rotten brats! (Takes up an Obama doll and points it at them)

Shida and Waihan: Ah! (They disappear)

Wei Yang: OMG! What happen?

Grandmaster: They were (pause for dramatic effect) polarised.

Wei Yang: Huh? But they were wearing white collars! Not blue!

Grandmaster: Er... (Suddenly Ada pops out, due to a miscalculation by the particle acclerator of CERN)

Ada: Cause Obama got high charge density, idiot.

Grandmaster: What she said.

Wei Yang: ... Coordinate your jokes better please.

Derek: Yah lor. Like how thiosulphate has coordinate bonds.

Wei Yang: Get away from this blog post. Can't you see the title?

Derek: Meanie. I go get my Sextuplet friends to beat you up.

Grandmaster: That's a long word. Who are your friends?

Derek: Oh. They are called Ian. Together they are called six-ian. Anyway, I am going off now. Go to have ice tea imported from England. Tata! (He exits the scne, with Ada following behind)

Wei Yang: Anyway, I was just about to talk about my school life today... (Yichen crawls into the scene)

Yichen: (Gasping) Wei yang... return me... my... balls.

Wei Yang: (Embarassed) Oops, sorry, here are your tennis balls back. (Yichen exits the scene)

Wei Yang: Alright, back to my story. I went to school today. I took a test. Finish.

Grandmaster: That's all? What a life you got.

Wei Yang: Then I decided to go to the library but it was not open, so I went to McDonalds for. breakfast. Oh, and I met Liting, Shalini, Prsicilla, and Yuny.

Grandmaster: OH, and then?

Wei Yang: I then saw Shih Ee and Shuting walking pass MD. They didn't see me. Maybe because it was how I was cunningly camouflauged into the white background, and you know, they weren't.

Grandmaster: Is that all? I was almost expecting the rest of the class to turn up suddenly and perfom a muscial involving song and dance, preferably with lots of snow. Winter is my favourite season, you know.

Wei Yang: Hmm, I prefer soy sauce and pepper.

Grandmaster: (Faints)

Part 1 ends here. Sorry if any felt gravely insulted after reading the post. I promise to bring Kellogg's next time. See you guys on tuesday! (If you want to kill me, at least let it be in risk, ok?)

P.S. Can you spot how many people from the class did I mention or suan? (Subtle references count too)

By: Grandmaster | at 12:29 pm | |

Post Prelim Celebrations!

*Apologies for the poor humour induced by the slight flu and a sugar rush last night*

In light of the Raffles Junior College Preliminary Examinations, POST (the breakfast cereal brand) has happily decided to come up with a series of events to celebrate these two weeks of fun filled regurgitation of knowledge!

*ooh that was pretty lame =]*

Randomness aside, its time for the real thing now!

More than a month ago, we had our third class outing of all time at Ada's house and after that, Moses posted a blog post (look below) about a post prelim outing to which there were no replies. Zilch. Zero. Kosong. Don't want sugar, don't want egg.

Hee hee. Anyway, now that prelims are actually going to be over, its more likely that we make an irrational choice of going out to play therefore I have the following proposal for everyone:

3E Class Outing Number 4.

Date:

Day:

Time:
Place:

Assembly Area:

Activity:

By: Gerald | Wednesday, 17 September 2008 at 9:09 pm | |

BBQ at Ada's House

Hey everyone. Wasn't today fun?

For memories sake I shall do a short summary here. Feel free to add on stuff!

In total, a whopping 22 people turned up for today's outing!

Some of us met first at Dover MRT at 1pm to buy stuff from NTUC, then we proceeded to Ada's house. Before the BBQ commenced at about 6, some of us played tennis, card games like bridge, and this board game (It has a name that has something to do with a magazine) that was really funny. It was unfortunate that the security guard couldn't find a table tennis ball so we couldn't play table tennis. Quite a few people were looking forward to it actually.

The BBQ commenced at 5-ish 6, where we went through a hard time trying to get the fire started. Poisonous and irritating fumes spewed forth from the monster that we created, but we managed to tame it enough to receive cooked satay, chicken wings, sausages and more food from its jaws! Thanks to all those who put in effort BBQ-ing the food and starting the fire.

We kind of divided into 2 groups of people - the ones BBQing food and the ones who were doing something else because too many cooks would have spoilt the broth, quite literally. Once again, thanks to those who BBQed the food while the rest of us only ate. We played funny random games such as concentration and a weird game with weird sounds that I can't put in words. Ooong ji ji wu ji?! Never mind.

After that we moved to near the jacuzzi, where the light was too dim, to the table-tennis table area where we played Taboo to our heart's content! It was so funny to hear what people associate with some words. Such as "what we do after PW" with "celebrations". It wasn't too funny to hear "what does Moses always say" with "nonsense" though. HMM.

Anyway, people started leaving halfway, and the end the final people left were Ada, Liting, Yunyi, Shalini, Shuting, Shih Ee, Victor and myself. We went to clear up and realised that shovelling charcoal into a plastic bag and a styrofoam box wasn't exactly the smartest idea because the charcoal burnt a hole through both of them. Here's hoping that we cleaned up the mess enough with our improvisation.

Ada's parents were kind enough to drive us to the MRT station and we went home.

This summarised today, but words can't express the feelings of warmth and happiness that we felt!



Okay anyway I'm here to propose another idea, since today was so enjoyable.

How does a post-prelim party sound to everyone? This time we won't have a BBQ, we can have like a buffet or something (everyone pays around $10?) at someone's function room. This time there'll be no need for people to cook the food. We can just take our food and sit around, there'll be so much more time for interaction and fun games. We can have it on the 23rd Sept (1st marking day) because some people have H3 examinations on the 22nd (Monday). Yes it may be relatively close to A levels (actually a little more than 1 month away from that date), but everybody needs a few days of rest after the rigours of prelims, so why don't we reserve 23rd September as a day with 08S03E? Hmm those who think that this is a good idea please tag! Then from there we can confirm more stuff like the venue, caterer and stuff like that.

Oh and we should have a post-prom party. So just think about it and those with good ideas just tag too. Hotel room (s)? Chalet?

Oh and one last thing. Those who took photos today pleaseplease put it on our class egroup or Facebook for everyone! Thanks a lot!

Thanks for making today so enjoyable. See all of you again on Tuesday, and meanwhile enjoy this long weekend. (Oh and pleaseplease remember to tag, the last time I said that there was a pathetic response.)

Back to watching the delayed telecast of the Olympics.

By: Moses | Saturday, 9 August 2008 at 12:41 am | |

Class Outing?

We have a long weekend (Thu to Sun) from 7 - 10 Aug 2008! And that makes one of those days a perfect time for...



A CLASS OUTING on 8th August!



Please reserve that date NOW! It's 3 weeks before that day, you can't possibly have scheduled anything this early and 08S03E is booking YOU for a CLASS OUTING (Project Bonding). Come down and support your class! There will be buses outside the general office which will leave at...

I think Council will be proud of me.

But seriously. Yes we're having a class outing. And everyone has to turn up (because if everyone turns up I can beg Shida to let me use money from our class fund so that I do not need to collect $ individually) . Please reply "SURE!" on the tagboard with your name and IC if you're going to support our class in its 3rd outing in 2 longlong years, which somehow hurtled past us in a flash if you look back now.

Give more ideas on what you want to do for this outing, because this outing in NOTHING without the people! *cue shrieks* Oh and please don't suggest stuff like a movie because we'll end up sitting down and eating popcorn and NOT interacting with each other which totally isn't the point of the outing.

Okay if you all don't mind (and if I don't get suggestions), this is what we're going to do on the 8th of August.

10 am - 1 pm
Buy BBQ food and eat lunch

1 pm - 5 pm
Go to Ada's house and play random games (e.g. tennis, table-tennis, swimming, board games, card games)

5 pm - (depends on how long you want to stay)
Start BBQ, BBQ, and eat BBQed food

And at all times, we're supposed to mingle with everybody, have lots of fun, and most importantly, at all times, PRAY FOR NO RAIN.

08S03E!

Do we want to remember the 2 years of our JC life as mindless mugging? Or do we want to remember it for the happy memories? It's such a waste that we went through JC1 basically having only 2 outings - 1 at Liting's house and the other our 2D1N class chalet.

We've been in the same class for about 1.5 years now and we're about 3/4 through our JC life - what many survivors call the worst years of your schooling life due to the sheer competitiveness and the need to study... and study... and study... you get the point. So many have said that it's almost impossible to make true friends in JC because time hurtles past you so quickly; will we still remember 08S03E 10 years down the road?

Please indicate your assent on the class tagboard NOW and think of what you can do to contribute to the outing in general like bringing more food and games or outingish stuff.





See you on the 8th of August.
This is OUR LAST STAND.

By: Moses | Thursday, 17 July 2008 at 7:33 pm | |

CT2 WHOO! (It rhymes)

Since the last post was posted during CT1, I thought I would post something right before CT2. Here's a few exam-related jokes to cheer everybody up (I hope) right before D-day.

Dumb Blonde
The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within a half an hour, she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on...

She replied, "I finished the exam in half and hour. But, I am rechecking my answers!!"

Thank God we don't take KI
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

We don't have the guts to do this
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. A half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. A half hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The student looked incredulous and angry.

"Do you know WHO I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor.
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.
"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.


Okay I'm not exactly a very positive person, but let's be optimistic and look forward to Thursday instead of dreading Monday. Good luck everyone, let's just do our best.

By: Moses | Sunday, 22 June 2008 at 12:11 am | |

common test 1

good luck to everyone for the common test. hope we all do well. =)

By: shida | Sunday, 16 March 2008 at 10:04 pm | |

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! =)

hope everyone gets a bumper crop of ang pows. =D

By: shida | Thursday, 7 February 2008 at 9:12 am | |